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Introduction
In the complex world of human psychology, two concepts often confuse many: pseudo-helplessness and learned helplessness. While they might seem similar at first glance, they are distinct phenomena with different origins, implications, and outcomes. Understanding these differences can significantly impact how you navigate life’s challenges, manage relationships, and foster personal growth. In this blog post, we will explore seven key differences between pseudo-helplessness and learned helplessness, helping you to better identify and address these behaviours in yourself and others.
1. Origin and Development
Learned Helplessness: The concept of learned helplessness was first introduced by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven Maier in the 1960s. It arises when you experience repeated exposure to uncontrollable, adverse situations. Over time, you begin to feel that you have no control over the outcome, even when opportunities to change the situation present themselves. This sense of powerlessness becomes ingrained, leading to passive behaviour and a belief that your actions have no effect.
For example, if you were repeatedly exposed to failure or criticism despite your best efforts, you might start to believe that no matter what you do, the outcome will always be negative. This mindset can spill over into various aspects of your life, making you reluctant to try new things or improve your situation, because you genuinely believe it won’t make a difference.
Pseudo-Helplessness: On the other hand, pseudo-helplessness is more of a strategic behaviour, often subconsciously adopted. Unlike learned helplessness, it doesn’t stem from repeated exposure to uncontrollable situations but rather from a choice, albeit often unconscious, to avoid responsibility or difficult situations. You might feign or exaggerate helplessness to gain sympathy, avoid challenges, or manipulate others into taking over tasks you find unpleasant or daunting.
For instance, if you find a particular task at work difficult, you might act as if you are incapable of doing it, hoping that a colleague or your manager will step in and handle it for you. Unlike learned helplessness, where the belief in powerlessness is genuine, pseudo-helplessness is more about avoidance and manipulation.
2. Cognitive Beliefs and Self-Perception
Learned Helplessness: If you suffer from learned helplessness, your self-perception is severely affected. You genuinely believe that you are incapable of changing your situation or influencing outcomes, leading to feelings of low self-worth and chronic pessimism. This belief system is deeply ingrained and difficult to shake off, as it’s built on real experiences where you were unable to control the outcome.
This mindset often leads to a generalised expectation of failure. Even in situations where you have the power to succeed, you might not even try because you have internalised the belief that your efforts will be futile. Over time, this can lead to a pervasive sense of hopelessness and depression, as you continuously reinforce the idea that you are incapable of making a difference in your own life.
Pseudo-Helplessness: In contrast, pseudo-helplessness doesn’t stem from a deep-seated belief in your own incompetence. Instead, it’s a more superficial, often situational, approach where you present yourself as helpless in order to gain something. This might be attention, sympathy, or an easy way out of a difficult situation.
You might not actually believe that you are incapable, but you choose to act as if you are. This behaviour can become habitual, especially if it proves effective in getting others to do things for you or in avoiding uncomfortable tasks. However, because it’s not based on a genuine belief in your own helplessness, it doesn’t typically lead to the same level of deep-seated despair as learned helplessness does.
If you are familiar with the novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen you will recognise how Lydia Bennet gets her own way with acts of naivety and pseudo-helplessness.
3. Emotional and Psychological Impact
Learned Helplessness: The emotional toll of learned helplessness is profound and often devastating. As someone experiencing learned helplessness, you are likely to suffer from chronic anxiety, depression, and a pervasive sense of hopelessness. The belief that nothing you do matters can lead to a complete withdrawal from life’s activities, including work, relationships, and hobbies.
Over time, this can develop into more serious mental health issues, such as major depressive disorder or generalised anxiety disorder. The constant feeling of being trapped in an uncontrollable situation can be incredibly demoralising, leading to a cycle of negative thinking that is difficult to break.
Pseudo-Helplessness: While pseudo-helplessness can also have negative emotional consequences, they are generally less severe than those associated with learned helplessness. The stress and anxiety you might feel are often related to the fear of being discovered or the guilt of manipulating others, rather than a deep-seated belief in your own inadequacy.
However, if this behaviour becomes habitual, it can lead to strained relationships and a sense of disconnection from others. People might start to see through the act and become resentful, which can lead to social isolation and a decrease in self-esteem. The emotional impact, though significant, is usually more about the consequences of your actions rather than a chronic sense of helplessness.
4. Behavioural Patterns
Learned Helplessness: If you are experiencing learned helplessness, your behaviour is characterised by passivity and avoidance. You are likely to avoid challenges, give up easily when faced with difficulties, and exhibit a lack of motivation in areas where you previously might have tried. This behaviour is a direct result of the belief that your efforts are futile.
In the novel The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, Holden Caulfield exhibits learned helplessness through his pervasive sense of futility.
For example, Holden goes to his sister’s Phoebe’s school and sees the words “Fuck you” scrawled on the walls and feels a deep sense of despair, knowing that no matter how many times he erases it, more of it will always appear.
This moment highlights Holden’s realisation that he cannot protect children (or anyone) from the harshness and corruption of the adult world. His efforts to shield the innocence of others feel futile to him, as he comes to understand that he cannot stop the inevitable loss of innocence that comes with growing up. This sense of helplessness and the futility of his actions deeply troubles Holden, contributing to his overall sense of despair and disillusionment throughout the novel.
In extreme cases, learned helplessness can lead to complete apathy, where you stop engaging with the world around you altogether. This can affect all areas of your life, from your professional endeavours to your personal relationships, as you increasingly withdraw into a shell of inaction and resignation.
Pseudo-Helplessness: In pseudo-helplessness, your behaviour is more calculated. You might actively avoid taking responsibility for tasks or challenges by pretending to be incapable, but this is often situation-specific. For example, you might act helpless at work to avoid a difficult assignment but be perfectly capable and proactive in other areas of your life.
This selective application of helplessness can be confusing to those around you, as it’s not consistent with your overall capabilities. While it might help you avoid immediate discomfort, it can lead to long-term consequences, such as missed opportunities for growth and development, and a loss of trust from others who begin to see through your act.
5. Impact on Relationships
Learned Helplessness: The impact of learned helplessness on your relationships can be profound and negative. As you retreat into a shell of passivity and resignation, you might withdraw emotionally from those around you. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as well as frustration from loved ones who want to help but feel powerless to do so.
Your constant need for reassurance and support can also put a strain on relationships, as others may feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of trying to lift you out of your helplessness. Over time, this can lead to resentment and even the breakdown of relationships, as the emotional burden becomes too much for others to bear.
Pseudo-Helplessness: Pseudo-helplessness can also negatively impact relationships, but in a different way. Because this behaviour is often manipulative, it can lead to a loss of trust and respect from those around you. People may begin to feel used or taken advantage of, especially if they repeatedly have to pick up the slack for you.
In some cases, pseudo-helplessness can lead to co-dependent relationships, where one person consistently takes on more responsibility because they believe the other is truly incapable. However, once the manipulation is recognised, it can lead to a breakdown in the relationship as the truth comes to light.
6. Potential for Change
Learned Helplessness: Changing the mindset of learned helplessness can be incredibly challenging because it’s rooted in real experiences of failure and powerlessness. However, with the right support and interventions, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), it is possible to overcome these feelings.
The process involves gradually rebuilding your confidence by challenging the beliefs that underpin your helplessness. This might involve small, manageable tasks where you can start to regain a sense of control and competence. Over time, as you begin to see that your actions can indeed make a difference, you can start to break free from the cycle of learned helplessness.
Pseudo-Helplessness: Pseudo-helplessness, on the other hand, is often easier to change because it’s not based on a deeply ingrained belief system. Once you recognise that you are using helplessness as a way to avoid responsibility or manipulate others, you can start to make conscious changes in your behaviour.
This might involve taking on more responsibility, facing challenges head-on, and learning to cope with discomfort rather than avoiding it. With self-awareness and a commitment to change, you can break free from the habit of pseudo-helplessness and start to take control of your life in a more authentic way.
7. Long-Term Outcomes
Learned Helplessness: If left unchecked, learned helplessness can have devastating long-term consequences. It can lead to chronic mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, and can severely limit your ability to achieve your goals and live a fulfilling life. The pervasive sense of powerlessness can make it difficult to break free from negative cycles, leading to a life of unfulfilled potential and missed opportunities.
However, if you can overcome learned helplessness, the rewards can be significant. By regaining a sense of control and agency, you can open up new possibilities for growth and success. The process might be slow and challenging, but the long-term benefits of overcoming learned helplessness can be life-changing.
Pseudo-Helplessness: The long-term outcomes of pseudo-helplessness are also negative, but in a different way. While this behaviour might help you avoid immediate discomfort or responsibility, it can lead to long-term consequences such as stagnation in your personal and professional life. By consistently avoiding challenges, you miss out on opportunities for growth and development.
In relationships, pseudo-helplessness can lead to a loss of respect and trust, as others begin to see through your behaviour. Over time, this can lead to isolation and a lack of meaningful connections with others. However, because pseudo-helplessness is often more of a habit than a deeply ingrained belief system, it’s possible to change this behaviour and avoid these negative long-term outcomes.
Conclusion
In summary, while pseudo-helplessness and learned helplessness may appear similar on the surface, they are fundamentally different in their origins, psychological impact, behavioural patterns, and long-term outcomes. Learned helplessness is a deeply ingrained belief in your own powerlessness, often resulting from repeated exposure to uncontrollable situations. It can have a profound impact on your mental health and relationships, leading to a cycle of negativity that is difficult to break.
On the other hand, pseudo-helplessness is more of a strategic behaviour, often used to avoid responsibility or manipulate others. While it can also have negative consequences, particularly in relationships, it is generally easier to change because it’s not based on a deeply held belief in your own inadequacy.
Understanding these differences is crucial for personal growth and mental well-being. By recognising whether you are experiencing learned helplessness or engaging in pseudo-helplessness, you can take steps to address these behaviours and regain control over your life. Whether it’s through therapy, self-awareness, or a commitment to change, overcoming these patterns can lead to a more empowered and fulfilling life.
It’s important to remember that both learned helplessness and pseudo-helplessness are not permanent states. With the right support and mindset, you can overcome these challenges and move towards a more positive, proactive approach to life. So, take the time to reflect on your own behaviour and beliefs, and consider what steps you can take to break free from the cycle of helplessness and start living a more empowered and authentic life.
By addressing these issues head-on, you can unlock your full potential and create a life that is not defined by helplessness, but by strength, resilience, and a belief in your own ability to shape your destiny. Whether you are dealing with learned helplessness or pseudo-helplessness, the journey towards empowerment and self-discovery is one that is well worth undertaking.
If you have experience of pseudo-helplessness or learned helplessness, leave a comment.